Muffet's Story
by halwaffles
Summary: [COMPLETE] Muffet, the eccentric spider you all know and love has forged a rather strange reputation on the surface. Now the proud owner of Muffet's, a bakery at the edge of town, she has a rather peculiar run in with a young boy, which eventually turns into a similarly strange friendship. (ONE SHOT)


**A/N:** Hello! So, this is the much-awaited spin off that was requested a long…loooooong time ago by a user. I'm so sorry that it took me this long to actually write your story request, but here we are, finally.

To the user that requested this, thank you so much for your patience and for not screaming at me! I'm so sorry once again for making you wait so long (2 years), but here we are.

!

Everything was peaceful on the Surface after the Great Crisis, or the situation that occurred with Chara coming back from the dead briefly. The funeral for Frisk had already taken place, being a very public affair due to her contributions to the Underground and on the Surface. Now, only a few people were left still grieving Frisk's death.

Now, it was during this time that at the edge of town, a new establishment seemed to appear out of nowhere. It was revered and feared by everyone in town, as no one experience in this place was the same, (most likely to the eccentric figure that ran the place). No, it was a bakery that left a rather longstanding impact on whoever visited. It was often contemplated whether it was the strange atmosphere or the strangeness of the owner. Over time, it was generally accepted to be a combination of both.

It became a rite of passage for young boys and girls at the edge of their innocence to be sent into the bakery without a compatriot to follow, only for them to later come out of the bakery with a disgusting sticky slime over them as the child trembled in horror at what they had experienced. There were only a lucky few that managed to get away without the stick all over them.

This bakery, was simply named "Muffet's", owned by the eccentric and classy spider, Muffet. She lived in a rather large mansion deep in the woods (well, it was more of an urban legend, as no one had actually taken the time to venture that deep into the woods). Muffet was well known for the rather eye-catching purple cannon that lay just outside of the bakery. On days that she was particularly mischievous she would wrangle people into the cannon and shoot them out of it to their dismay. However, during United Day (a day that celebrates the Union of the Underground and the Surface), Muffet would charge $5 for people to be shot out of it, since there was such a high demand to use it. Despite her always adorning a set of perfectly identical pigtails, rumors circulated that her hair was long enough to reach her waist, quite contrary to how thin her hair appeared.

Due to all of these reasons, and so many others, most of the town felt unsure of what to think of her. She never did anything explicitly illegal, but she was quite an oddity, though this rarely bothered Muffet, as no one treated her disrespectfully or unkindly. However, one such situation would prove itself to be quite different.

It all started one morning, when Muffet awoke in her bed in her large bedroom that was located on the Eastern wing of the mansion she owned (so it was in fact not an urban legend). She recalled feeling a strange tingle in her legs upon going about eating her breakfast and before she climbed into the personal cannon she had at her house to shoot herself over to the bakery (as it was many miles away).

That morning, she went through her usual routine of prepping the bakery, and sharing a morning smoke in the back before opening the bakery. She always liked to have a morning smoke as the smell of her specially made smokes actually smelled like sweets and other delicious treats. It was a strategical tactic to gain customers in the morning as the smell was so enchanting.

However, when Muffet prepared to light her smoke, she noticed that there was a figure rummaging around the dumpsters in the back. "Who are you, you little garçon?! (pronounced "gar-son" with the "on" sounding like the start of "only") The boy looked up at Muffet, panicked, before attempting to run away from her. However, Muffet managed to grab hold of the little boy, and before he could scream, she swallowed him whole. She felt the boy struggle inside of her as she went about the rest of her morning routine, waiting for him to stop struggling before she would spit him out. It was after an hour that she finally felt mercy and spat him out. He trembled in fear after she did so, scrambling away as fast as he could. "Bien ("bee-yahn"), he looks frightened enough that he'll be intelligente ("on-tell-e-jont") enough not to come back," Muffet said, satisfied.

However, the following day, he came back. This time, when Muffet chased after him to attempt to swallow him, he managed to barely escape by climbing onto the roof of the bakery, standing there as he waited for Muffet to leave. She scowled at him, throwing a plethora of curses at him. "Tu es bêtes! (too ay bet) You are stupid, you little shit! Vous êtes un peu de la merdes! ("vooz et un puh deu lah mair-d") You are a little shit!" She yelled at the boy. He didn't mock Muffet or attempt to escape. He only remained standing on the roof of the building, taking all of Muffets insults and yells.

Of course, as much as Muffet would have liked to shoot him through the cannon, she had to tend to her bakery, allowing the boy to escape. This pattern occurred once again the following day, and the day after that. Soon, it almost became a tradition for the two strangers. Now, when Muffet yelled insults at the boy, they weren't out of fury or anger, they were out of a strange fondness for this new routine. Each day the boy would appear and Muffet would chase him, only for him to get onto the roof once again. The boy obviously took pleasure now in the random insults that Muffet spewed at him, as the both would begin to cackle in laughter after a short time of Muffet spewing her insults.

It wasn't too soon after this strange and somewhat twisted friendship developed the Muffet finally asked the boy his name. "I'm Monster Kiddo, not to be confused with my older brother, the dipshit Monster Kid. Well, he isn't much of a dipshit; he's just a big softie, but I rather like using the word dipshit," the little boy declared. Upon further inspection, Muffet was completely unsurprised that the two were related. They both looked identical, after all.

Monster Kiddo was 8 years old, and he was a rather spunky 8-year-old at that. Monster Kiddo was adventurous and curious, which caused him to begin sneaking into the back of Muffet's in the first place. "They've always said that Muffet's was scary, but they're just some frightened dipshits if you ask me," Monster Kiddo piped up one time when Muffet invited him inside the back for a cookie.

"I like your verbiage, Monster Kiddo. J'aime ton vocabulaire ("gem t-own vocab-u-l-air")," Muffet said to him. "I know most persons ("per-sowns") would not approve, but I say let les enfants ("lays on-fon") be free to express themselves!" She said in the middle of her morning smoke. Of course, despite her more…progressive views on the matter of vocabulary she had enough restraint to not allow Monster Kiddo to try one of her smokes. "While these smokes are not harmful to your health, I'd rather not give everyone the impression in town that I'm a danger to society," Muffet told Monster Kiddo jokingly. This prompted a scowl on Monster Kiddo's face, but of course after another Spider Cookie all was forgiven.

Time passed by, and Monster Kiddo eventually turned 13. Muffet and Monster Kiddo no longer partook in their morning tradition, as Muffet was growing older. However, every day Monster Kiddo would visit the bakery, sometimes coaxing in a few of his friends when they were willing.

Every time he visited Muffet would greet him saying: "Bonjour my favorite little shit! Ça va?" ("saw vaw", which is a informal way of asking how you are in French). Since Monster Kiddo had been taught bits of the French that Muffet loved using over the years, he eventually managed to reply in French as well, since Muffet preferred to speak French over English.

"Muffet, is it true that you live in a mansion?" Monster Kiddo asked one day. Muffet smiled at him in response. A couple of days later, Monster Kiddo was launched in the cannon at the bakery to Muffet's mansion, where Muffet gave him a tour of the space, which awed Monster Kiddo greatly. "This is totally wicked!" He shouted with glee in the foyer. His voice echoed about 7 times before it faded away. Muffet laughed quite loudly, pulling out two smokes and handing one over to Monster Kiddo. She had promised him that he could start having them when he turned 13; after all, since they weren't harmful to his health, there wasn't any harm in allowing him to indulge in them. Her only rule for him was that it couldn't be done publicly for obvious reasons. Monster Kiddo was more than happy to follow those rules, allowing for harmony to exist for the two.

As time went on, it became common place for the two to share a smoke in the back of Muffet's as the two had some Spider Tea and discussed Monster Kiddo's life and studies. This also became a prime time for Muffet to teach Monster Kiddo more French to round out his knowledge on the language. There were a few evenings on which Monster Kiddo and Muffet would partake in their smoking pleasure in the back but they wouldn't speak to one another, only partaking in the enjoyment of each other's company.

And, as it goes, time passed on once again, eventually leading to Monster Kiddo's graduation from United High School, and his transition to his college career. On the day that Monster Kiddo was to leave, Muffet baked a few hundred Spider Cookies and brewed a few bottles of Spider Tea as a going away gift. She even slipped in her secret recipe for the Spider Cookie's and Tea in the box that she put the cookies in. Monster Kiddo shared a platonically affectionate hug with Muffet before he closed the trunk to his car and drove away to college. This turned out to be a bittersweet time for Muffet, as the rest of her children had already grown up and left the comfort of her home. And now that Monster Kiddo was gone, she no longer had someone to spend her evenings with.

However, since Monster Kiddo's college wasn't far away, he managed to come home quite often. When he did come home, he would always stop at Muffet's first before returning to his house, always to come up after dinner in the evenings to share a smoke and catch up on lost time. While time seemed to pass by slow for Muffet, college life proved to be busy for Monster Kiddo, and before he knew it, he graduated college with a degree in business. Muffet made certain to close down her bakery on the day of his graduation, being quite vocal when he walked the stage to gather his diploma.

After his graduation and much discussion, it was determined that Monster Kiddo wanted to become a partner in running Muffet's. Since he had been around so often, he knew a lot about baking both due to observation and lessons from Muffet when he found himself particularly infatuated with a crush. Everyday the two worked side by side in running the shop, always making sure after closing time to indulge in their long held tradition of smoking and drinking Spider Tea.

It wasn't too soon after the partnership was struck that Monster Kiddo fell in love, and got married to another monster girl from the Underground. Muffet teared up uncharacteristically at the wedding at seeing Monster Kiddo become so grown up. "Il a tous grandi! ("eel ah too grawn-dee") He is all grown up!" She whispered in the mess of tears that dripped out of her eyes.

About two years later, Monster Kiddo became a father, proudly marking a growth in his family. Since Monster Kiddo now had his family to care for, the time he spent with Muffet smoking Spider Smokes and drinking Spider Tea decreased greatly, though he made an effort to spend time with her whenever he could.

It was around this time that Muffet began to grow noticeably older. She no longer could move at the same pace she used to. And she found it hard to get inside the cannons that she used. While she liked to swallow people whole for fun at times, the amount of times she would do it accidentally began to increase.

However, her personality and mind were as young as ever, so Monster Kiddo carried few worries about her Muffet aging.

That was, until Monster Kiddo got a call from the local hospital in the middle of a fateful October night. Monster Kiddo rushed to the hospital, managing to rush into the room Muffet was held in. Something that she had been keeping from him and everyone else was that she had been suffering through a long battle to cancer. And now, it appeared that it would take the final victory. Surrounded by Monster Kiddo and her children, Muffet passed away peacefully, only uttering "La vie est une belle chose" ("lah vee ay oon bell shows" or "life is a beautiful thing") as her final words.

Muffet, being the intelligent person she was, had an airtight will that clearly stated that Monster Kiddo was to inherit Muffet's. (along with a line in there about "That little shit better not change the name of my bakery or I'll chase him on top of the roof again!"). Despite the brief period of grief that he felt, Monster Kiddo felt joy at the life that Muffet led. He honorably took control of the bakery after Muffet's passing, being certain to not change the name in memory of Muffet and also to avoid the warning that she gave coming to fruition.

To this day, Muffet's has remained an open and eccentric establishment, still the center of countless local urban legends that the children are more than happy to listen to. One notable new one came after Muffet's passing, saying that Muffet was indeed haunting the bakery as a vengeful spirit.

When children would ask Monster Kiddo about this, he would only smile in response, allowing for the mystery to live on. Most had eventually passed on the story as being a simple myth; however, some claimed that Muffet's soul remained roaming in the back of Muffet's keeping a watchful eye over the domain. This was enough to keep all of the children away from it, except for one.

A little boy, who had the likeness of Monster Kiddo, rushed into the back area of Muffet's curious about the urban legends he'd been hearing about. He began to shuffle through one of the dumpsters, only to be caught by Monster Kiddo, who swung open the door. "Monster, what are you doing out back here?" Monster Kiddo asked his son laughingly.

"I've heard that Madam Muffet lives back here, I was hoping to find her!"

Monster Kiddo chuckled again. "I don't think you would find her living in a dumpster. Come on, let's get you inside and clean you up!"

"But, is it true that she lives back here? Everyone is talking about it!" Monster insisted. Monster Kiddo only shrugged his shoulders with a twinkle in his eye as he pushed Monster toward the door. However, unbeknownst to Monster, Monster Kiddo turned his head over to the side to see Muffet's spirit floating before him in the back. She smirked and smiled with a wicked twinkle in her eyes that made Monster Kiddo grin back at the dramatic irony.

If only Monster had looked over.


End file.
